The Question
by Psycho Maddy
Summary: "And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer." Rilke


_A/N: This one goes to Marzia and Mateja, and everybody else I've ever seen drunk. By the way, cheers, M! :D_

_I just need to warn you it was written in a hurry. I haven't written ANYTHING in months, maybe even a year._

_Disclaimer: Sadly, they don't belong to me._

* * *

There was a shift in the air at NCIS headquarters and Special Agent DiNozzo was always the first to notice. Well, maybe not the first to notice but certainly the first to feel it. Tony sent his partner a knowing look as his Gibbsometer went off. He could feel the danger approaching and Ziva was ignoring him as usual. Talk about empathy!

He stared ahead at the computer screen, his very blank case report staring back at him. Gibbs was in one of his bad moods this week. One more headslap and he'd get a free trip to the ER for head trauma.

"What are you waiting for, DiNozzo?"

Tony almost jumped in his chair. Of course Gibbs would be right behind him.

The following headslap came in seconds.

"I want that in my desk tomorrow" Gibbs informed him.

* * *

Gibbs walked into his house, closing the front door behind him. The lights were on so he wasn't surprised to see someone there waiting for him. He did not expect to see his boss, though.

He mentally sighed. He was not up to any political/bureaucratic crap tonight. Today, of all days, he just wanted to be left alone.

"What can I do for you, Director?"

He stared at her until she looked at him. She crossed her legs and folded her hands in her lap. She looked every bit the controlled Director everybody knew. But not to him.

"I'm drunk" she spilled.

Gibbs actually laughed. He shook his head, making his way to sit with her at the couch. For a change she wasn't being a bitch…yet. It'd been a bad day, an even worse week, and all he wanted to do was sand his boat until he could no longer feel his fingers. He'd even argued with everyone inside the building, except Abby. But he had a drunken Jenny Shepard in his living room and it was by far the best thing that had happened that day. He couldn't miss it.

She smiled at him, her eyes twinkling and her face flushed. He found himself smiling back. Jenny wasn't one of those loud or mellow drunks. She had an even sharper tongue when under the influence and was brutally honest, but she just looked very…adorable.

It was as if he could see her sweet side, the one she tried so desperately to hide.

"I was drinking with the girls and…" she stared at his shirt for a second. Then her eyes lit up and she grinned at him "And I remembered I hadn't wished you a happy birthday!"

There she was, right in front of him. He felt warm in his chest. Some things, no matter how hard you tried to forget, would always be there.

Jenny grabbed his hand and examined his fingers. He felt her hand against his, her fingers exploring the palm of his hand. He appreciated the touch more than she could realize right now. All they did was fight, every single day. Seemed like all they needed was an excuse to be lashing out at each other. Then, he realized how much he missed his partner. Her touch, her laugh, her smile, her drunken and flushed face…

She chuckled to herself and Gibbs couldn't even remember why he'd been so upset before.

"What's so funny, Jen?" he inquired, smirking to himself.

She looked up at him, with those eyes. Those eyes that always got to him as if about to reveal some big secret.

"I've always liked touching your hands. It feels so good" she confessed, laughing quietly to herself.

Gibbs didn't know what to make of that. He still resented the choice she had made all those years ago and even more the one choice she made after coming back into his life. He pushed those feelings aside whenever he saw her, whenever he felt that same need to touch her. And that got him pissed, because he had to stop himself every day. Sometimes he just needed to slam her door, invade her space and bully the hell out of her.

"I didn't see your car outside" he said.

Jenny thrust her chin up and rolled her eyes at him "That's 'cause I'm drunk, Jethro"

It was actually a relief that she hadn't driven there.

She let go of his hand and he immediately missed the contact. Jenny looked around and then back at him. The playfulness disappeared and she bit on her bottom lip, hesitating.

The next instant she was on her feet and he had to stand up to prevent her from falling.

She turned around in his arms and patted his chest "Sit"

Her eyes were so heavy and she felt so funny. She didn't even bring a present. Maybe she should go home…

Jenny looked straight into his eyes and Gibbs almost forgot she wasn't sober. Of course the fact she was having a hard time standing up was evidence of the contrary.

"Stupid shoes" she cursed, gingerly stepping out of them.

Looking back at him, she glared "Sit down"

Gibbs did as told, waiting in silence.

He leaned back and spread his arms along the back of the couch. He watched attentively as she brushed the hair out of her face and took her time to collect her thoughts. Jenny stared up at the ceiling, feeling the heaviness of her body.

At last, their eyes found each other.

"Listen" she said, pointing her finger at him.

Gibbs looked at her in amusement "I'm listening"

"I'm tired of fighting with you, so tired. I'm tired…you know?" she moved her arms to keep her balance.

Yeah, he knew.

He never took his eyes off her as she closed her eyes and swayed a little. If it bothered him that it was the first thing to come up in her drunken mind? More than he could put into words. Most days he only got glimpses of the woman behind the Director of NCIS. Maybe he was pushing her away.

"Today was…bad. SecNav wanted you fired" she managed to say through her slurred speech.

Her face indicated just what she thought of that idea. It made Gibbs smile to himself.

Her eyes lit up and she shook her head, suppressing a smile "I took care of it"

Like Gibbs knew she would.

"It was a bad day, wasn't it?" he asked.

Once again she looked into his eyes and shook her head slowly "You have no idea"

"So…" she trailed off, closing her eyes "You're gonna apologise"

Gibbs stared at her in interest. Never had she asked him for an apology. Never had he had the courage to apologise with words.

Her body swayed again and Gibbs stood up before she could fall down on her face.

"And…I'll stay here until you apologize" Jenny insisted "I'll stand here…in front of you…until you do it"

She was quiet after that, biting on her bottom lip.

Jenny never ceased to amaze him.

She still looked flushed, her eyes staring at him expectantly.

"Why don't we sit down?" he offered, grabbing her hand.

Jenny shook her head. She took a step forward, closing the space between them, daring him to deny the apology she deserved.

Gibbs asked himself why the hell not. Here was her chance to call him every name in the book and she wanted an apology. Why this was so important to her he could only guess. He knew it was important to _him_.

His throat and mouth felt dry. It took an eternity for both of them. Sometimes they were wrong, after all.

Sometimes _he_ was wrong. That much he knew.

He took a deep breath.

"I am sorry, Jenny" he finally said, his word cutting through the silence of the night.

Their eyes locked and she sighed.

Those three words meant a lot, to both of them.

He raised one of his hands and touched her face, stroking the smooth skin beneath his thumb.

What he couldn't see, however, was the look on his face as he looked at her. The way his eyes traced her features, how he enjoyed her smile with one of his own. He didn't know what it was. Did he even need a reason?

As Gibbs looked at her, lost in her gaze and the light in her eyes…

"Happy Birthday, Jethro" she whispered to him.

No, Jenny never ceased to amaze him.


End file.
